You meet someone, you fall in love, but how do you make it last? When you look around you, you see the whole gamut, from couples who have been together for decades, to those who can’t seem to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. There are many factors that affect which relationships work and which ones don’t, but there are also a few areas where you can strengthen the chances that yours will be among the ones that last.
Organize Your Finances
Many couples fight and break up over money. Honest conversations about money can help prevent this. This is not a single conversation as many often get their attitudes about finances from the family that they grew up in, and whether or not you were raised by spenders or savers, people with a little money or a lot, may influence your own feelings about it. If your attitudes are different, you’ll each need to be sensitive to the other person’s approach and find a compromise that works for both of you. Work out a budget and a plan to pay off debts, even if you agree you are each responsible for your own debts. For many couples, student loan debts will be a major part of this. You might be able to lower your monthly expenses and come up with a better payment plan by refinancing your student loan. Having Earnest student loan refinancing available is one option that may be more affordable than your current loan.
Share Chores
Along with finances, another mundane but important reality of sharing life together, and one of the most common couples therapy techniques, is figuring out how you’re going to divide up everything from the dishes to who pays the car insurance to who takes on various aspects of pet and childcare and much more. Like finances, these seemingly minor things can become splintering points in relationships if one or both people feel unfairly put upon. There are many different ways to conceptualize and split up chores, but here are a few things to keep in mind. Both people will probably feel like they’re doing the most at times. The job of remembering things, whether it’s when bills are due, when children need to be picked up or what’s in the refrigerator and what needs to be purchased for dinner should be factored into the sharing of chores. One way some couples approach division of duties is by making a list of the things they hate the most and having each person take the other’s most hated tasks.
Have Fun Together
In all this budget making and chore sharing, it’s important not to lose sight of the reason you’re together in the first place. Don’t forget to have fun together. What that means will vary from couple to couple. If your friends on social media are constantly going on trips or posting photos of themselves at great parties and you’re more of the stay home with board games types, then you shouldn’t feel pressured to emulate them. If you both have very different interests and leisure activities, it’s still important to find ways to connect and enjoy your time together. This is particularly important if you have kids or are planning to have them so that your life is more than just a whirl of responsibilities.
